Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

It seems like the more people I talk to, the more I realize life ain't easy. Marriage is hard. Being single and dating is hard. Parenting is hard. And most surely each paycheck received from working on that 9-5 slave ship is hard earned. So when is the reprieve? Is the fun and carelessness of our youth (and irreplaceable college years) just accrued debt we repay as adults with compounded misery? Or, have we grown used to a culture that complains all the damn time? A culture that has us trained to first seek to blame others for our hardships and misfortune BEFORE looking within.

Now this isn't a verbal lashing, but more a "what if?" I never thought I'd be the one quoting my mother, but I remember once (among many occasions) in a bit of despair I sought her advice. She told me to "re-frame it" and to look at the situation with a new lens. We choose the lens with which we view the world, so why not re-frame it and climb out of the ditch of misery? Stuck in traffic? What if you've been spared from being the cause of the traffic? Winding up in the same situation over and over? What if you're ignoring the lesson to help avoid this situation in the future? Single and depressed? What if your disposition is the reason you are single?

I hope I don't seem like the rosy type...all I keep thinking about is that annoying doctor on Grey's Anatomy that skips and smiles non-stop. I'm NOT that person...ok, I do skip...but merely to burn calories. I digress. My point is that we can choose to be miserable, or choose to be happy. If you land in a ditch, spending time figuring out who pushed you in won't help you get out. Take a moment, visualize how you could have avoided the ditch, dust yourself off and climb out. Trust, we'd ALL rather hear stories about how you climbed out rather than to see you sitting indian style at the bottom, playing in the dirt with a sad face repeating "woe is me."

Now, don't let me be callous...just like we earn sick days and vacation at work...trudging through the obstacles of life do earn us a few sympathy days, water breaks, and even a couple "woe is me" cards. However, use them sparingly. Ultimately you will be healthier, happier and a more enjoyable person to be around simply by how you choose to view your life. Oh, and try skipping periodically. Trust me, at least you'll have a reason to chuckle to yourself.


  1. True!!!
    life is...
    life is everything and nothing at the same time
    Sometimes i find myself in that woe is me place then i take a look back and have to say, damn, i have come a long way! i am blessed... the universe, God is watching out...
    then sometimes all i have to remember is my breath...
    and most times the best thing for me is to call my mom...she always reminds me that i am in this world and not a created one! which is hard for me at times...
    life is...
    i love this blog!
    this will be added to my morning reading
    love to you