Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Just doing a little happy dance, because I just received a fantastic email from Mr. Mystery Man.  What a nice way to wake up ;)

Have a great day good people...hope you find reason to do a happy dance today too!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Click n Tell

One thing is for sure...I may be single...but the well sure ain't dry.  Praise be to God for that...and for great girlfriends and hookups.  Although the revolving door of my life seems to be moving a little too fast for my taste, it is nice to see I'm still getting steady traffic ;) Well anyway, on New Years Eve I was in Michael's with my simplistically elegant girlfriend (see: 2010 Simplicity) shopping for supplies for our 2010 vision boards when my phone rang.  Another girlfriend - I'll call her my lifesaver to avoid confusion - called to say that she met this guy months ago through a mutual friend and decided to set me up.  All she knew was that he was kind, shared the same religion, age and that he was good looking.  She had already put it all in motion sending pictures and contact information to him, so all I had to do was wait.

And that I did...for over a month.  After a couple days Mystery Man was demoted from a top draft pick to a bench warmer and I chalked it up as a nice thought.  I was surprised when I did finally receive an email from him. I really thought he wasn't interested (I mean who waits over a MONTH to send an email!?).  Anyway, his email was nice and brief, but very clear he had struggled trying to figure out how to break the ice with a person he'd never met.  In my attempt to respond I too faced the same struggle.  I mean ME, Queen of over-communication, Ms. "I say I'm going to keep it short but I still write 6 paragraphs" sat staring at the computer screen for HOURS not knowing what to say. I know I've me an unofficial hype (wo)man for edating...but I never actually exchanged emails with someone I didn't already know! So this whole get to know you process via email is a brand new beast.

Anyway we did push through the awkwardness and exchanged a few nice emails, but all of it was...vanilla.  Sweet and good, but nothing exciting. Bor-ring.  I mean, I'm not vanilla! I'm sooo cherry jubilee or maybe even cookies n cream!  But definitely.not.vanilla. I confided in my lifesaver...and she challenged me to be M-E.  She challenged me to channel my inner ping.

So with this in mind, I started writing him, and like magic, my fingers didn't stop moving until I had finished a fantastic, funny email full of life and personality. I read my completed email over and over, smiling like a proud parent...confident that FINALLY I was able to share a little of my cherry jubilee.  And for the first time in dating (trust me, I'm using this term very loosely, lol),

On the train ride home listening to my iPod, the Miseducation of Lauren Hill spoke the words in my heart:

Let me be patient, let me be kind/ Make me unselfish, without being blind.
...I know I'm imperfect, and not without sin/ But now that I'm older, all childish things end.

I'm all grow up, and right now all I want is to be me, adored for who I am, as I am. My guard is down, and my heart is open. So as I patiently await a response to my email we'll see if this evolves into something substantial...but either way, the greatest gift any day is finding your voice. Find yours...and tell him.  It'll be alright ;)

Sunday, February 14, 2010


I know I said I'm a hater by nature, but on the day that usually resurrects the latent hater in all single women, I.was.overjoyed.  I love LOVE.  I love seeing happy couples, I love seeing men, young and old, with bouquets of flowers obviously for their special someone.  I know that feeling...and although it's been a while since my heart has skipped a beat, I'm proud to say that I do get joy in seeing others happy.  

I ventured out downtown today in search of an apartment and saw a man pick up his girlfriend and twirl her around romantically before giving her a kiss.  It was sweet and spontaneous...and coming from a girl who's walk often resembles a sashay or a periodic skip...I couldn't help but smile at their PDA.   

On the way through the underground walkway to catch my train, I passed the flower shop that makes me smile each time I walk by.  For some reason as I hurry by, I imagine my future husband bringing me flowers on his commute back home.  So when I see couples living in my dream it reaffirms my hope that one day soon, it will be me.

Today a close friend called to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day.  It was around 6pm, and he asked had I already gone out for the day on my date. I replied I had gone out, but not on a date.  "Why" he asked. I laughed and replied "Does everyone have to have a date on Valentine's Day?"  He answered "No, I just thought you would."  His response reminded me of the time I called eHarmony's customer service to cancel my subscription. She pulled up my profile and replied "You are so pretty, I can't believe you haven't found someone yet."  lol.  In both instances I was extremely complimented.  I mean, I know both comments reaffirmed that I AM still single, but it's still a great feeling to know others view your single status as illogical.  

So to my single-etts, I hope you enjoyed your Valentine's Day as much as I did.  Because I'm sure very soon it will be you being swept off your feet for an endearing kiss, or your Mr. Right boarding the train with a beautiful bouquet for you, just because.  At least when it comes to love, it's not always about the now...but the ever after. And when your Valentine does arrive, I promise he will be right on time. Just don't stop believing.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Dr. Dynamite

I had been boycotting Match for a while because (as I like to say) "my desired demographic is limited", lol. Well anyway, in my boredom for a new story to tell, I decided to jump back in the online game for a bit to fulfill my curiosity. I had a few emails sitting in my Match inbox, and they reel you in to subscribe because you can't check emails without given up that green. Well, in reluctantly signing back on, I realized you are granted three days free. Niiiice...I can check my email, delete my ex's profile AGAIN from popping up when I search, see if there's anyone worth talking to and cancel before having to pay!

The emails were garbage. I ran a quick search and the ex didn't pop up. I laughed to myself realizing the block feature works only when you subscribe. Funny. I know what you're thinking...don't go there. No bad's just a little painful when he's the most attractive guy that pops up in my search...every time. Ok, "painful" may not be the right word, but I definitely think it's a cruel joke that when I search 1) there's only about 10 men that meet my parameters (3 in the United States) 2) His handsome smiling face is always sandwiched between the shirtless mandingo from the UK and Dave Chappel's homeless looking cousin. Ok, that made me laugh out loud. I think God has a sense of humor.

Anyway, on Day 2 of the free trial I get an email from a familiar face. I.was.shocked. We knew each other from a past life...I was probably 19 and he was in his mid thirties. Nothing romantic, just crossed paths many years ago. Anyway, he hadn't popped up in my search because he's out of my age bracket. And although the email was was clear he was reaching out to say more than just hi/bye. I immediately read his profile and I think I fell in love. He was kind, and intellectual...and had me thinking if I could happily be his spoiled tender roni.

I googled him...and fell deeper. I read about his dissertation and publications, his travels and interests. He had a reserve about him that had me enchanted. And although I hadn't ever been attracted to anyone that much older than me, something about him captured me. My girlfriend joked and said he wasn't my type because I like "cool guys"...but hands down his intellect had me at hello. His intellect was my new cool.

We talked over email for a couple weeks, and my mind was twisted. He never expressed any interest in me, or desire for anything romantic...but we did discuss views on marriage and relationships in a very generic way. I'd be a fool if I didn't know he was interested...but he wasn't inappropriate at if he was waiting for me to be overt. However, if I flirted, he didn't flirt back...and slowly I realized I was wrapped up in a real life fantasy!

My mom didn't hate on me when I told her about him...but gradually I think she started to think he was too old. I joked and said "Well, he's not old enough for you to consider him for yourself, so I'm ok." She responded with a drawn out "Wellllll?"

Hold up! Did she just hesitate? OH H-NO! He's in my mother's pool of potentials? Notgonbeabletodoit.

I feel bad because I went from telling the man that I wish I could bake him muffins to take to his office, to taking days to respond to his emails. Horrible right? Gosh I wish he was 10 years younger...if so, I'd add the Mrs. to his Dr. Dynamite in a heartbeat. I'm just not quite ready to consider men who could be my step-daddy. No sir. Throw a ping. on that.

Mama Nose

"There are one too many women living in this house" my mother told me. I think I was 11. And she was right. As long as I can remember I've been an independent thinker, the person who approaches the world as if knowing all the answers to everything. By the time I turned 21, I started to figure out my life would be so much easier if I listened to my Mom's advice instead of fighting it. The strange side effect is I'm also slowly morphing into my mother. I realized this when I held up the line in the department store searching for a receipt in the pile 'o receipts I keep neatly tucked in my wallet. Mumbling to myself I said "No she won't give me no store credit, hmph! I'm going to get my CASH back as soon as I find this receipt." Oblivious to the stares of impatient customers behind me, I find the receipt and hold it up like a prize. "I knew I had it!" I look around, and noticing the expression of the strangers around me I shake my head. "I am my mother's child" I tell the salesclerk in disbelief. No one, and I mean no one, can hunt out a receipt or coupon like my mother.

It was a running joke in our family for years when my mother pulled out coupon for our family dinner at Red Lobster. I was probably 8. The waitress said "Mama be cuttin' those coupons!" was HILARIOUS, and we all laughed because it was so true. But it wasn't about cutting coupons, or being cheap, my mother was just wise enough to plan ahead and spend wisely. And although I haven't developed the coupon cutting habit just yet, I've grown wise enough to consult her with my large financial decisions. And although I still run around like a know it all periodically, I appreciate my mother for setting such a great example in so many ways and always knowing when I need her.

Most recently I've been struggling with this property I've been maintaining in CA...that I love. Fortunately when I moved back east I was able to rent it...but this market isn't doing well...and I've had think hard about keeping or selling the house I thought would put my children through college. *dramatic sigh* I talked to my mom, and she helped me gain perspective and setup my options. Later that night she sent me great if she knew what I needed to hear to not feel so burdened by my pending financial decisions. As if she smelled it in the air. Mothers have a nose for these kind of things...and similar to when we were young and only she could smell that the stove pilot was on, she still knows when her children need her. And although no one can get under my skin like she...I hope she "nose" how much I love her too. So I don't mind morphing into my mother. If I could be half as endearing, and together as she, I'd still be one baaaad mamma jamma ;)