And that I did...for over a month. After a couple days Mystery Man was demoted from a top draft pick to a bench warmer and I chalked it up as a nice thought. I was surprised when I did finally receive an email from him. I really thought he wasn't interested (I mean who waits over a MONTH to send an email!?). Anyway, his email was nice and brief, but very clear he had struggled trying to figure out how to break the ice with a person he'd never met. In my attempt to respond I too faced the same struggle. I mean ME, Queen of over-communication, Ms. "I say I'm going to keep it short but I still write 6 paragraphs" sat staring at the computer screen for HOURS not knowing what to say. I know I've me an unofficial hype (wo)man for edating...but I never actually exchanged emails with someone I didn't already know! So this whole get to know you process via email is a brand new beast.
Anyway we did push through the awkwardness and exchanged a few nice emails, but all of it was...vanilla. Sweet and good, but nothing exciting. Bor-ring. I mean, I'm not vanilla! I'm sooo cherry jubilee or maybe even cookies n cream! But definitely.not.vanilla. I confided in my lifesaver...and she challenged me to be M-E. She challenged me to channel my inner ping.
So with this in mind, I started writing him, and like magic, my fingers didn't stop moving until I had finished a fantastic, funny email full of life and personality. I read my completed email over and over, smiling like a proud parent...confident that FINALLY I was able to share a little of my flavor...my cherry jubilee. And for the first time in dating (trust me, I'm using this term very loosely, lol), I.was.just.me.
On the train ride home listening to my iPod, the Miseducation of Lauren Hill spoke the words in my heart:
Let me be patient, let me be kind/ Make me unselfish, without being blind.
...I know I'm imperfect, and not without sin/ But now that I'm older, all childish things end.
I'm all grow up, and right now all I want is to be me, adored for who I am, as I am. My guard is down, and my heart is open. So as I patiently await a response to my email we'll see if this evolves into something substantial...but either way, the greatest gift any day is finding your voice. Find yours...and tell him. It'll be alright ;)