Thursday, October 14, 2010
During a weekend trip to visit with my friends, the new guy and I make plans to go to brunch that Sunday while I'm in town. We've known each other for 19 days, and he said he wants to show me how much he appreciates me for being in his life. He said he was wearing a suit (HUGE for a non-ironing, jeans and gym shoes kinda guy) so I dressed up as well. Pulled out my favorite crystal necklace and purple suede heels and felt like a movie star. His jaw dropped. Nailed it :) He was intent on keeping the restaurant a secret, but eventually we pull up at the Four Seasons Hotel. He held my hand as we walk down a huge winding staircase and through the double wooden doors. "Your table is ready sir" the host states. The most beautiful flowers are waiting for me at our table. The card reads "Our future is limitless". The servers are smiling, complimenting my flowers, my shoes, my outfit. One gay server kisses his fingers and calls me "flawless." I was on sensory overload as the grand orchestrator (Mr. Day 19) sits to my left beaming as I take it all in.
Don't get me wrong. I seen some nice isht in my day. But I was BEYOND impressed. The menu was mind blowing, but I froze in my seat for what seemed an eternity when after 3 plates he says "I need to take you somewhere, are you ready?" I just knew this fool was going to drop to one knee. It was that kind of moment, yet absolutely NOT the moment at all, and I was afraid that the only thing left was a ring in a glass of sparkling cider. I was NOT ready. I let go a huge sigh of relief when instead he leads me to the dessert room complete with chocolate fountains, and every type of dessert you could ever imagine. It was the best brunch ever. But tragically, I was very much aware that I was not interested...in him...AT ALL. But after all this planning, I was determined to be not just a good date, but a fantastic date. So I laughed at his jokes, stroked his ego, and adoringly caressed his face like he was all that mattered in life. He deserved to feel like a King...even if I had to fake it. And all the while in the back of my mind, I was planning my exit strategy.
Ok, maybe I should catch you up on how we got here. Two weeks after my rekindled love of yesterday went on hiatus, I was on to the next. Now wait. Before you start thinking it, let me reassure you...I am not scared of lonely, or unable to exist happily single. I can do single. I have, and will if I must (AND *insert neck roll* make it look good)...but certainly not by choice. So unapologetically, good people, we're keeping it moving.
In two short recovery weeks filled with denial, heart ache and despair...after feeling like I had no more to give, God shocked my system to make it very clear who was in control...and it wasn't Satan (see: Slap in the Facebook). I was introduced to the new guy on a Wednesday. Thursday he drove 3 hours to meet me for dinner to break fast for Ramadan, then drove back home. Before he left we visited the nearby masjid to pray together, then later enjoyed great conversation over a shared ice cream sundae. At every moment, he pulled my chair closer, and gazed adoringly into my eyes. He...was...ready. Ready to commit, ready for love and ready for a wife. Considering the last vanishing act I witnessed, it was everything I wanted. He was handsome, and attentive and spontaneous and he came to my city... just like that, to see me! Not because he was in town for business, or visiting friends, but to see ME. period. *big smile*
But here's where keeping it real goes wrong in 5...4...3...2...
The next day (Friday), he tells me he has visions. And from the moment he laid eyes on me he saw a vision that I was going to be his wife, and our first child will be a boy. He understood my request to take things slow, but wanted me to know that he was sure, and was willing to be patient with me along the way. I think to myself, "I deserve this" and ignore the faint alarms going off in my head. After 10 days he's planning premarital counseling sessions and asking me about rings. I learn that he was married TWICE before and has two children. I had mixed emotions. Divorced twice? At 37? But his boys were beautiful. I realized I want to be a step mom. I wanted to be THEIR step mom.
But yes, the alarms did get a little more audible when he put both boys on the phone without warning or discussion, called me non-stop throughout the work day, told me constantly how much he missed me, and asked me to call his mother to introduce myself all in the first 20 days...but deep down inside we all want to believe in love at first sight, right?! Your ego wants to believe that all this is possible because you are just that hot. But that's a farce. To really know me, and love me...damn sure requires more than 20 days. Ain't no shallow ponds over here, champ...by any means.
I declare it takes four seasons to know a person. 12 full months to not be the fool who rushes in (that was sooo 2009). Now I know, you really don't know someone until you live with them, or work through adversity together, or experience tragedy and loss together...but that's phase II love. But as I seek to conquer phase I love, I just need four seasons to be sure of how I feel. So ironically, at an otherwise perfect brunch at the Four Seasons Hotel, I decided I need more than the guy who fell hard over the pretty face. I need a guy who through the fall, winter, spring and summer, saw me in each light, fell in love for all he saw, and captured my heart in the process. At that moment *ahem* I'll be ready for that *cough, cough, hint, hint* glass of sparkling cider as he sings the International Players Anthem. I chooooose yooou babe. Aww. Yesss indeeed ;)